The Thing About Loving Someone
by StarQuality
Summary: Not really Dwarfish, just drabble that could apply. [Slash, kinda, RimmerWhoever IE: Lister. To me anyway.]


**Title: **The Thing About Loving Someone

**Author: **StarQuality

**Disclaimer:** Well, seeing as it's all just my thoughts given to a character, I guess it's mine. But he's not.

**Summary: **Not really Dwarf-ish, just drabble that could apply.

**Pairing: **Rimmer/Any male (Make it Listy, for me.)

**A/N: **Yeah, this is a one-off 'essay' type thing that came straight from my heart and my head. I didn't even think about what I was writing, and it probably shows. I just want to express my thoughts, but I can't, so I decided to give them to Rimmer. I don't feel good at all :-( I'm sad. Makes no sense really, it's just my brain needs exercise. Sorry, I really am sorry. It started out well, and then kind of... went funny. Could've put it on _fictionpress,_ because they are my feelings and it is almost an essay. Sorry, it's short. Thought it was longer. I was wrong. Oh well.

* * *

The thing about loving someone, REALLY loving someone, is that you _aren't_ blind to their faults. The fact is that you see all of their faults, every single one, and you just smile. You put up with them because you love them. Even if they're the most annoying person on the planet (Or not, as the case may be), you still never want to be apart from them. Never. Not even if you're arguing. You just want the row to be over, so you can be back in their arms again, feeling the warmth of their skin, taking in their scent, generally feeling that nothing could possibly be better than what you're experiencing. You take in all of the good things, and all of the bad things, and you file them away somewhere, because... you love them. You love all of the negative traits, all of those little things that drive you to distraction, you love them, because without all of those horrible aspects, your lover wouldn't be who they are.

But what about if that person isn't your partner? What if the love in unrequited? You spend all day looking at the other person, wanting them so badly it hurts, but never being able to have them, because they just don't want you. Even if they do want you, nine times out of ten, you won't know that. You think that they hate you, or just '_don't like me in that way_'. But, this often isn't the case. Sometimes when you really love a person, the love that you feel for them rubs off, and they begin to return the feelings. Of course, most of the time you don't notice it, so it's pretty pointless. Or, by the time they feel the same, you've gone off them. It's tragic, but it's often the case.

What about just flirting? Flirting, to some people, is just a game. But it can cause pain, agony, even. One girl flirts with a boy, he falls in love, she breaks his heart. Old, old story. Or, it can cause love. I mean, you take these two kids in high school that I read about. They didn't know each other for years, or rather, they just weren't acquainted. Then, somehow, they became 'mates'. Not friends, just mates. But, over time, their relationship grew. And grew. They became friends, and soon enough, they were practically inseparable. Both of them knew that the other person harboured secret feelings, but they seemed too ignorant, stupid or stubborn to admit it. Maybe they were just blinded. But, eventually, they began to see the light. Then, one night, he decided to take the initiative, no-one knows exactly why, and ask her to be his girlfriend. She instantly said yes, and they were both ecstatic, because they had found each other. They had taken the long way around, but they'd reached each other in the end. And all it took was one single moment, for him to realise, _"I want to be with her."_ and another for her to realise, _"And I want to be with him._". It could, and perhaps should, have happened a lot sooner, but, as I always say, it happened when it did.

I mentioned that moment when you realise you're in love with someone. You don't just love them, you're _in love_ with them. It's a feeling like no other. You could stare at a blank piece of paper for years and never be able to describe that exact point in time. Your brain turns to liquid, as do your knees, and it's surprising that you can actually say anything that makes sense. Of course, that feeling doesn't last forever, it's a momentary blip. I don't mean that you only truly love a person for that one millisecond, gracious no. But the moment of realisation is one of the most magical moments in any relationship, without it, there would be nothing. It would simply be two people who knew they had feelings for each other, but simply could not comprehend what they were. But, who can comprehend love?

They say, _"There comes a point in your life when you will realise who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will."_. This could not be anymore true. All of those bullies, all of those so-called friends, they don't matter, they never did in the first place. Why do we all think they matter at the time? You ask a fifteen or sixteen year old class, they'll tell you why, it's because they're just a part of life. Those insignificant idiots who make everyone's life hell, they don't matter, and we shouldn't care about them, because at the end of the day, you'll be stuck with them for awhile, and then you'll probably never see them again. So why DO we care?

We care about the ones we love, that's taken as read. We care about the ones we just like, that's obvious. We care about people we see on the television, people we've never even met, people we're not likely to meet. That's just human nature. It's how it goes. So, if we care so much about them, why don't we care _MORE_ for the people who do matter to us? Having an argument with your partner, is it really worth it? I mean, a proper full-scale argument? Of course it is. Without that, life would be perfect, and then it wouldn't be worth living. I've just contradicted myself, I know.

I don't know why I'm writing this. I suppose it's because I've never really thought about it. But recent events have made me realise what's really important in life. All of those things you take for granted as a kid. Love, affection. They don't come easily to a person like me. A person who finds it difficult in social situations, even with people I've known for years.

But this isn't about me. It's about him. It's about the man I love. The man that makes my heart soar, just by smiling in my direction. A smile, a laugh, even just a general glance, that makes it all worthwhile. A wise person once said to me, _"You only need to tell one person in your life that you love them."_. That's true. You can tell a thousand people that you love them, but you don't need to. It's just a waste of time. There's only one person in the World that deserves you, and you deserve them too. I'm not saying that loving more than one person in your life is a bad thing. It isn't. But when you tell that special, once in a lifetime person that you love them, that's when you know.

That's when you know that you're in love. And that's when you know that it'll stay for as long as it is needed. You only get the one chance at life, and although you get a lifetime to love, you should only dedicate yourself to the one person. Affairs wreck lives. That's the way I see it anyway. Those five minutes of lust with the busty secretary is nothing compared to a lifetime with the man, or woman, that you're meant to be with, no matter how wonderful she was, no matter how much you argue with your long-term partner. Because, if you argue with them, there's a strong chance that you'll come out of it smiling. However, with arguing with _that bloke you just happened to meet in the shoe shop and had a mad sex-filled dirty weekend in a hotel_, you're not getting anywhere, and if your partner were ever to find out, you'd practically be risking your _'one true love'._

I've always hated that phrase, _one true love_. I always thought it ridiculous.  
Until I fell in love with him.

Will write more in my new diary tomorrow.  
**Arnold J. Rimmer.**

* * *

**Fin.**

* * *

Point? None. Depressed? A little. Sorry? A lot.

Star  
xx


End file.
